A Dialogue With K

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super K, originally uploaded by: jwlphotography

I wish I’d get up in the morning feeling really excited about going to work, infact I wish I’d spend my working day playing with my new gadget or staying at the four corners of my small living room instead of working really hard at work (I am not lazy) -but I shortly began to think that in order to enjoy both, I’d think that working wisely is more enjoyable out of passion - a love of what I do, than something just to get the job. My kind of work is not so challenging enough that I should rather be somewhere else enjoying what I love to do.

One of the worse things - in terms of careers - is to wake up in the morning and say, “Damn it, I have to go to work!” It’s been over a week now that I was in the early shifts and wished that my desk is not with the Boss sitting side-by-side with me telling me what to do - or as if like you’re working for the money like a robot. My whole energy as if would just collapsed. Do you ever feel like you’re dragging in because it’s Monday, and doing your arms and legs extended out the door because it’s Friday?

So today, The Boss gave me the Grade 1 (which obviously means I got the highest rating ever) on our yearly ‘PAF 101′ (Performance Appraisal Form) assessment in which I think is more appropriate for my hard work. Let’s just say, ‘about time for promotion’ but why am I still feeling disappointed? I was expecting that The Boss would say something about ‘positioning’ which literally means I needed the promotion but I’m surprised I was not given an assessment on that?

Truth of the matter is that, it’s always seemed pretty painful when a nice but relatively incompetent person who was junior to me last month (talking about in general) becomes senior to me this month. I mean what’s the rule to get a promotion? How did it happened? How did someone undeserving get promoted ahead of a star like me? Actually this kind of thing happens all the time specially in our company.

I could go on with that, but I assumed there must be some reason why they “kept” the deserving ones off the promotion line - could the reason be like, promoting people who don’t deserve the position is a very important tool for maintaining staff morale? I call it a principle of misdirected disappointment. Don’t you think? Am I too confident in the job? Do you think if I’d get promoted, what happens to the not-so-bright people who are not promoted? Even if that’s what it seems to be going on around since I joined the company fifteen years ago, who wants to believe it’s the way things are? Not me, and that’s for sure.

On the positive side, I’m just playing it safe, maybe I am not good in many other things my Department wants me to do, so I just keep on doing what I’m good at doing. Not everyone can be The Boss but everyone can think that they can (and that includes me), innit? Then if not, who would be up there preparing and doing the training to the new staff? If every individual are ranked according to their intelligence then who would be up there attending the staff meeting and listening to each others ideas and preparing those big Powerpoint until 12 midnight?

Me.

1973
by: James Blunt
Me, singing (and trying)

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