Dailies, I Used To Believe, Life, Thoughts
Be who you are
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My style, originally uploaded by: M.Gruber
When we meet people or get into a new relationship, we start putting all these repressive restrictions on ourselves. I can’t have my feelings. Can’t have my wants and needs. Can’t have my history. Can’t do the things I want, or say what I need to say. I turn into this repressed, perfectionist robot, instead of being who I am: me.
Sometimes, our instinctive reaction to being in a new situation is: don’t be ourselves. Who else can we be? Who else would you want to be? We don’t need to be anyone else. The greatest gift we can bring to any relationship wherever we go is being who we are.
We may think others won’t like us. We may be afraid that if we just relax and be ourselves, the other person will go away or shame us. We may worry about what the other person will think. But, when we relax and accept ourselves, people often feel much better being around us than we are rigid and repressed.
If others don’t appreciate us, do we really want to be around them? Do we need to let the opinions of others control us and our behaviour?
Today, I learned to let go of my fears about being myself. Letting myself relax and be me in my relationship. Doing this only shows that I accept myself and value who I am.
K,it is not easy to do that. i admire you for having the courage to be finally you. natagpuan ko ang tunay kung ako nung natisod ako sa piling ng aking future hubby. depende rin siguro kasi yun sa taong kapiling mo
“depende rin siguro kasi yun sa taong kapiling mo.”
Kenks, korek ka jan. Pag wala, hanapin pag hindi mahanap, darating.
If we pretend to be someone we’re not just to please the one we love, then we are not loved for ourselves but for who we pretend to be. If we’re true to ourselves right from the start, then they love us for being who we are and accept us as we are.
Marni’s last blog post..The Escape
Marni, I agree.
But (sometimes when I say “but”, I am opposing here..) of course everyone pretends to be someone else atleast once or twice, don’t we? Like our blog, not many of us speaks “who we really are” (including myself). Quite often when I speak with my clients, I am different. But when I speak to someone I am close to, I’m the real self. Not that I do not like what I pretend to be, it sometimes becomes necessary to pretend to be nice and cordial with people even when they are eating your head and breaking it to pieces. But when I’m angry, I’d of course show it, not say it.
“We are what we pretend to be, but we must be careful what we pretend to be”.
Weebee you were or at least your blog on maintainance awhile back kasi.
I think,it’s part of life’s package we simply CAN’T please everyone.Sooo complicated to elaborate,lol
cheh’s last blog post..Tag kita giliw!
Cheh, @weebee I said that all the time sa chatrooms. And speaking of chatrooms a lot of people there “na may nakaka buhay ng patay”, if you know what I mean. Puro chat-awayan, chat-inggitan, chat-hamonan, dami pa.
I’m just updating stylesheet, trying to know what CSS means kaya naka “maintenance” kunyari, pretending I’m a geek, hahaha.
I think all of us are unique in our own way, being yourself is the best that you can bring into any relationship, that way there wouldn’t be any surprises.
Ginger’s last blog post..Christmas Carols
Ginger, agree on that. I think its just a matter of comfort and how in the beginning people are trying to impress each other. After awhile both will realize that they arenot perfect but like each other none-the-less.
i just read the back cover of paulo coelho’s the witch of portobello and i think it is also about being who you really are.
iRonnie’s last blog post..Unsecured Business Loans
Ron, the book seems interesting. I’ll add this to my New Year’s resolution, “READ BOOKS” (and more intellectual blogs too hehehe).
Hi K!
With me, what you see is what you get. I prefer to talk than write, that’s why you rarely see me blogging. But I can be quiet too and know how to listen too.
If people can’t accept me, so be it. I always tell hub and myself too, that if they don’t like me to be a friend, it’s ok, I’m not going to die…
This I also say especially to my nephews and nieces:
If you are poor, don’t pretend that you are rich, and if you are rich, don’t brag about it.
Hi sofie, that’s a nice perspective.
In some point, I guess life is all about pretending. Think about it, how often do we pretend to be busy at work (or at least you aim to look busy) when the manager walks by? How do we pretend to care about someone else’s problems to be able to play the political game in life (“hey, how sad you did not get the promotion, you deserved it”). But all of this make-believing literally makes us believe. It becomes a reality. At work when I am mad of something, sometimes I pretend I don’t hear something so I don’t have to do it, I usually like to call those a “miscommunication.”
amen on what everyone said. eventually, your relationship will be better if you know who and what you are and what you have and can not offer.
Meeya recommends you to read…Digital Mystery