A Dialogue With K

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it’s all about the taxis, billboards, sidewalks, cinemas, zebra lines, lights, sounds, people, skyscrapers and shopping malls.

I don’t even think about the fact that I am an “older” single

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“You have a full, fun life. And you definitely don’t need love to be content. Of course, being single can get you down a little. Especially when you’ve been single for a while. But you know how to be patient and wait for the right person. You’re life is too good to settle for anything”. - Blogthings quiz on Are You Happy Being Single?

You know once a person have already found their partner, obviously their activities just naturally change, like they tend do mingle with other people who are also couples themselves. I mean, it’s not that us singles are complaining but how do we see fit in a crowd where everyone has their own partners? Not that they set out to be mean, but once in a while, it grates. Activities like hanging out with some couples exclusively. Like having dinner in places where they can order two-for-one, except that the poor single person has no choice but to pay the full price. You get the message.

I’ve been there many times and I’ve done that many times. And I just can’t accept when people daresay, “you’ve been single most of the time, don’t you think that suck?”. Is this a reason why many couples don’t seem to have that many single friends? Correct me if I’m wrong, but you know everytime I’ve had the time to ask my brothers of hanging out without their wives tailing on us, like doing the things we used to do when they were just singles, I’ve always had a hard time to understand why it isn’t the same anymore.

Ok, don’t give me that look, I like happy couples. I feel the joy of watching people getting married. But once I see myself in that particular setup with full of couples, I just feel like wanting to leave the place. If it’s only couples of two, it’s fine, if more than that, I’m not going to that dinner you had just organised.

What’s worse is that when couples all have kids, some conversation are becoming more boring. Even more when there are kids running around, jumping at you, calling you “Uncle Noyzki”. I’m like c’mon I am not playing with all those toys feeling like a parent in me while I am in the middle of socializing. And please don’t mess up with my shirt, it’s not funny.

However, I do like kids. I adore all my nephews, I’m even excited about having the new addition to the family. But when I am in a room already filled with couples talking about diapers, how cute their kids when they wear pyjamas, how they eat their cereals, how the other kid make funny faces, it’s as if like a constant reminder that I should really be out sowing my seeds somewhere.

Whatever.

The past few days aside, I will say that for the most part I don’t even think about the fact that I am an “older” single. Great, I do my own thing, sleep when I want, buy things without asking permission from a partner before buying exspensive stuff and no one at least eats the last scoop of my ice cream. But the thing is, I’ve always been single so I don’t know what the other side is like. I cannot comprehend what it is like to be with someone and be able to depend on them while they depend on you. I believe there is a point in our life where we need another level of love and support. I would like to date and be in a relationship, but I don’t think it’s going to happen any time soon. Perhaps, I’m still enjoying my singlehood. I guess I’ve just gotten used to it. I sometimes just have to tell myself that I may be single for the rest of my life. It’s not a guarantee that I’d find “the one”. I just have to accept that.

I’m fine with my singlehood and I don’t like being the subject of pity like as if I’m missing out on something great. I don’t need you to fix me up with someone. Fine, porns will do me good, for me at least, physically and emotionally? I’m fabulous. Just treat me as a full person, and not something half-filled.

And by the way? Get a room.


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34 Comments »

Wavatar pao» added these pithy words on: Sep 25, 2007

i agree, there’s nothing wrong with being single. it’s nothing to be ashamed of, no real reason to feel sorry for yourself. it just works that way for some people. i guess the couples who sometimes “pressure” you into being in a relationship just want you to be happy too, forgetting the fact that you might already be happy just the way you are.

 
Wavatar K» added these pithy words on: Sep 25, 2007

Pao, that’s very comforting of you to say. The sad truth is that good friends are hard to come by. Thanks for the enlightenment.

 
Wavatar inthesity» added these pithy words on: Sep 25, 2007

I don’t behave at all like your married friends, and I don’t have children and I think I won´t in the future. So i guess I´m not married, and legaly I’m not, but in real life I’m. If I divorce would you like to marry me? :)

 
Wavatar K» added these pithy words on: Sep 25, 2007

Inthesity, you’re funny. Well first, I will need proof of who signed the divorce papers. I also wanna see your driving license, residential permits, bank accounts, pensions, letter from Police Department, etc so that you will be eligible as a new applicant. Hahaha.

 
Wavatar inthesity» added these pithy words on: Sep 25, 2007

Well now I know why you’re single :)

 
Wavatar chuvaness» added these pithy words on: Sep 25, 2007

Share ko lang, ne-receive ko sa email just now. I find it funny and medyo totoo.

BAKIT “SINGLE” ANG STATUS MO
heto ako at sasabihin ko sa inyo ang ilang mga rason kung bakit.

11. Destiny Adik
10. Perfectionist/Mapili
9. Busy Busyhan
8. Friendship Theory
7. Born-to-be-one (Autistic)
6. Happy-go-lucky
5. Wrong Place
4. Wrong Time
3. Si parents kasi
2. Traumatic Experience
1. EX to the nth power — Oi aminin!!! LOVE parin si Ex kahit ilang dekada na ang nakakalipas.

Enjoy! :D

 
Wavatar bluepanjeet | OTWOMD» added these pithy words on: Sep 25, 2007

Its great to be single. you have all the time in the world kaya this past few years I am already wishing I have my own wife and kids. (its a long story). everytime I hangout with my friends who are couple I also rant the same thing “nakukayona lang at ma-o-op na naman ako sa inyo ako lang walang kayakap”. but then again It is always good to be around with them kasi I’m their constant object of jealousy kasi I can always get a woman dancing on my lap in front of them while they are tied with their wifves haha. actually nahihili sila sa akin, ako din nahihili sa kanila. its two way I thinks. Pero Kuya K, being single is so powerful. yun ngalangonce na nandito ka na sa stage na sinasabi ko, the kjealousy becomes intense… hay i wish the girl of my dream will be with mesomeday.

the only thing I envey them is the fact that when they sleep at night, there is someone who stays beside you through thick and thin…

 
Wavatar bluepanjeet | OTWOMD» added these pithy words on: Sep 25, 2007

haha ang daming typo error. sensya na at sira talaga itong keyboard ko. kailangn ko ng palitan. may mga characters na kahit di mo pindutin lumalabas haha

 
Wavatar my3boysandi» added these pithy words on: Sep 25, 2007

K
I have responded to your question on my blog

 
Wavatar K» added these pithy words on: Sep 25, 2007

Inthesity, sorry can’t help there so I’m convincing yourself to be single again. :)
Chuva, “nosebleed” ang the following reasons mo. Hahaha. I’ll go for the #1 though but I am not a perfectionist, kasi parang disorder na yun anoh? Maybe I’m in a wrong crowd? Pwede rin.

Blue, I like that one. Are you taking a Master Degree? Ang dami mong alam on how to be gullible ha? I have a few couple friends here (and the rest have already moved) but the hardest thing apparently is how to getting use to the fact that your friends no longer are free to spend all their time with you.

Hi Jenny, thank you, I’ve already checked the site and I think that’s a little complicated for me. Glad you passes by.

 
Wavatar cheh» added these pithy words on: Sep 25, 2007

I did enjoyed my singlehood,too Enjoy mo lang kasi pag may asawa ka na! ala ng kawala! ibang chapter na yun ng estorya ng buhay mo!

Expect the unexpected K! We’ll never know baka bukas iba ang sinag ng buwan.Dito pa nga lang eh may aplikante ka na hehehe

Have a fab week ahead dear K! kiss sa noo! (o hayan ginagawa kang lolo,haha) Ingats

 
Wavatar Ginger» added these pithy words on: Sep 25, 2007

There, you let it all out, do you feel much better. ;)

 
Wavatar iRonnie» added these pithy words on: Sep 25, 2007

single since birth ka din ba tito noizki? hahaha! by choice, i am.

i just don’t feel that im ready for a commitment. i’d rather stay single than rush in to things unprepared. i have to admit, i fear to be in a relationship. i am not ready to give up a part of my freedom.

some might say that im talking b**l&hit with all this logical things im saying. that is precisely the point. i have not yet found the woman that will drive me nuts. ^_-

 
Wavatar kengkay» added these pithy words on: Sep 25, 2007

if you are happy being single, then i am also happy for you. i was single for a long, long time too and it made me crazy everytime i met with blissfully wedded friends and the only thing they can talk about are the KIDS — arrgh! i am happily married with two kids but i can talk freely about other things, too.

 
Wavatar K» added these pithy words on: Sep 25, 2007

Cheh, *throws box of empty tissuepaper* I think about time to look na rin, i can’t find people na kasi to have a meaningful conversation offline, most of them are married, lagi silang nag mamadali pa. Kaya siguro wala akong caller in weeks, yung “huy tara labas tayo”. My life right now is too much of this stay-at-home, go-to-work, and only-get-out-to-run-errands routine. *grabs the box of empty tissuepaper back*.

Ginger, good timing, Jason Mraz (playing on the background while typing this) is saying to me to just get rid of the things inside myself that I’ve kept for so long. And it’s OK to just feel this way.

iRonnie, finally someone else likes to vent on here. Well, If it happens, it’ll happen–that’s my motto now I think. :)
Kenks, I feel you there. Sometimes I blamed this “Love Quizzes” for giving me this hyper-text-transfer-protocol slash slash//world wide web . . blog something something dotcom. I think the site is so anti-relationship. hahaha. Thanks, I’m always feeling better when people say nice things.

 
Wavatar Dicey» added these pithy words on: Sep 25, 2007

I say, better single than sorry. Some people get so desperate they settle for anybody and then be miserable as long as they are not alone. K be assured you’re doing the right thing by not being pressured. Rock on.

 
Wavatar Ambo» added these pithy words on: Sep 25, 2007

I think we have the same sentiments. Don’t pressure yourself if this is your destiny. I know you’re enjoying so much. With what you are and who you are now.

Being Single definitely has a lot of things to offer. Just enjoy life even if you grow old. ;-)

 
Wavatar Ambo» added these pithy words on: Sep 25, 2007

Btw, i am also single and available hahaha

 
Wavatar pao» added these pithy words on: Sep 25, 2007

mabuti nang single kesa pilitin mong makipag-relasyon nang hindi ka pa prepared emotionally. ;-)

 
Wavatar K» added these pithy words on: Sep 25, 2007

Thanks Dicey, I may not be the only but at least the good thing about being single is that it gives you the complete freedom to flirt with whomever you want, whenever you want, right? Having said that, where, who and when? It’s always easy for me to say than done. I definitely agree with your reasons to be single so I will keep that “rock on” feel until I meet the right person.

Ambo, I agree, I think it’s al in the minds, right? Thanks for visiting. Me ECHOES: “hey ladies, Ambo is single and available”. Naging bugaw tuloy ako. :)
Pao, pwede rin sex-relationship lang. I don’t have to invest BIG right? Hahaha my green-mind. Dibale you’re married naman eh and I know for sure that you’re enjoying being a wife.

 
Wavatar sardonicnell» added these pithy words on: Sep 25, 2007

i’ve been in relationships, but i am more happy being single. that by the way was my choice! i love the physical and emotional freedom. im sure there’s that someone out there for you and in time, you’ll settle down. and don’t let the people pressure you of getting into one, cause first and foremost — they’re not the ones who’s going to deal with the relationship. dba? there really is nothing wrong being single, it’s stress free!

 
Wavatar chase» added these pithy words on: Sep 25, 2007

I also agree that there is nothing wrong in being single and besides true love always comes to those who wait. So just enjoy being single for now. That’s what I did and now bam I am engage now and getting married soon.

 
Wavatar Arm Jerker J.» added these pithy words on: Sep 25, 2007

Funny, I even started some clothing stuff in cafepress about this topic. My shirts read, “I’m Single. So What?”
I don’t care about being single anymore, but everyone else seems to.

 
Wavatar Kofi» added these pithy words on: Sep 25, 2007

Single twenty-something person here! And I’m loving every minute of it. Yes, I still feel lonely, and sometimes it just gets quite depressing knowing how it wa slike being a part of a twosome. Nothing a good “date” can’t cure. Yep, that’s all I’ve been doing the past 3 years, DATE.

You can’t even say I’m dating “around” as I’ve been seeing the same person ON and OFF for the past three years. Funny thing was, whenever he’d ask me to go steady I push him off (just like last week!). I guess it would take me more than a warm body to make me wanna leave the freedom of being single.

 
Wavatar K» added these pithy words on: Sep 25, 2007

Nell, I’d like to think that I can see things from both prespective maybe I’m just bitter when those “couples” behaves soooo much in love being together. Aha, the jealous me.

Chase, in you case, you guys are like twins who can still go out both together with Singles. But being single for the longest time doesn’t always mean I am incomplete, so yeah thank you for the “push” to “staying single, then j/o later”. Hahaha.

Hi Arm, that’s a nice way to say, in a more sarcastic tone, “So what if I’m single”. I probably need that badge for my sidebar, NOW. Thanks for visiting.

Kofi, “I guess it would take me more than a warm body to make me wanna leave the freedom of being single”. You made me think there forraminute. Well, if ever I see you and your buddy hugging and all and do not get a room, I guess I’ll be the one leaving. :)

 
Wavatar pao» added these pithy words on: Sep 25, 2007

@K: haha, yeah of course i enjoy being married. with sex as one of the major perks. hala, ang bastus ko. lol. *tago*

 
Wavatar KK» added these pithy words on: Sep 25, 2007

Ay naku, ilan taon ka na ba hijo? Ok lang ang single pero mag-isip-isip ka kung ano ba ang gusto mo sa buhay.

I have a great uncle(uncle sa tuhod), he is now 63 yrs old and it finally hit him he wants to have kids of his own. And he is asking me to hook him up with a decent lady age 18-35. I said ngek! Why the hell only now that you are thinking of having kids when you obviously are too old to run after little toddlers. Anyone out there? Ladies? He is in California. :)
Heto meron pa, my older sister, she’s a doctor 34 years old. Specs: Intelligent, must be physically active prefer to be open dive certified(scuba) and easy on the eyes.

Marriage is exciting if you make it exciting but I have to admit that singlehood is more daring because of the risks you take. When you are married, you think about the spouse and kid/s before you jump of a plane. hehehe

Birthday mo ba?

 
Wavatar K» added these pithy words on: Sep 25, 2007

Pao, my lips are sealed. “I see no evil, hear no evil”. I think that’s normal for married people, wala ng hiya-hiya. Oppps.

KK, thanks for sharing that story. I’m nearly 40 .. aaarrrrrggh. I said it tuloy. But really being single can be fun at times, but at the end of the day, you still feel to wanting a companion that you can share your thoughts with and share the bed with under the quilts.

 
Wavatar malen» added these pithy words on: Sep 25, 2007

“I’ll go for the #1 though but I am not a perfectionist”

Kuya, yung number 1 is

1. EX to the nth power — Oi aminin!!! LOVE parin si Ex kahit ilang dekada na ang nakakalipas.
:D Nyahahah…give yourself a break..take a KITKAT.

 
Wavatar K» added these pithy words on: Sep 25, 2007

Exactly. That was I meant. Ang kulet mo pala. Ay ambot saimong lubot! :)

 
Wavatar malen» added these pithy words on: Sep 25, 2007

tsk tsk tsk

Obsession yata ang tawag dyan..harharhar

 
Wavatar redlan» added these pithy words on: Sep 25, 2007

Nakarelate ko sa psot na to. I am single again and I prefer to be. I had a couple of relationship before and I learned a lesson from it. Sobra! There is no perfect relationship unless both parties will work for it.

Sa ngayon I am happy to be with my real friends. I enjoy their company. Minsan nagkikita kami ng mga high school and college friends. Ang iba may dalang anak and their partners. Minsan, masaya na makipaghalubilo sa kanila pero there are some occassions na sana tulad ng sinabi mo di dapat dalhin ang mga ungas at asawa. Nakakabore at nakaka kj yun. Nakakaagaw eksena. Natatawa ako sa get a room. Yun naman dapat!

May advantage at disadvantage ang isang relationship. At isa yun sa tinatawag na responsibility.

 
Wavatar Kofi» added these pithy words on: Sep 25, 2007

No need to leave. I’m never into PDA. Hahaha~ Maybe that’s one of things why I’m still single…

 
Wavatar Belle» added these pithy words on: Sep 25, 2007

to tell you the truth, there are prons and cons of being single. freedom to go anywhere, whenever you want is one. being married and you want to hang out with your friends, you have to ask permission first because it is the right thing to do. it is a hassle sometimes.

so, have fun being single and enjoy every minute of it. i know you would make a good husband and father someday when the right time comes.

 
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