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Someone’s got their eye on me
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Originally uploaded by: tom
I was sitting at my couch, half naked while staring at the cheap IKEA clock on the wall when my phone alarms in sync, “wakey wakey, it’s now 9:30 am”. A typical alarm message that happens to be my personal wake-up call. It seems like I had been sleeping with four-squared cushions in my couch as substitute for my bed. Wow, I hadn’t been sleeping in my real-loft for months.
Every other mornings, I’d start myself with the routine warm up, stretching shoulder, middle back, arms, hands, fingers, wrist. The simple exercise that I can recommend is where you put the hands on your hips and gently twist your torso at your waist until the stretch is felt. After a few twenty minutes of stretch with Amy Winehouse “You Know I’m No Good” in the background, I opened my fridge and had 3 glugs of water. As I looked out of the the tiny kitchen window, in the direction of someone’s flat, a considerably short distant building, I saw a man staring towards me, and forgot I was still half-naked. I wondered if he watches me everyday when I wake up, I’d never know. I couldn’t help myself so I waived my hands. I saw him moving away from the window, so which means, he saw me.
I was a bit shocked and horrified by the thought that other people had seen me standing half-naked like that but by the time I had walked around my room picking up the clothes I had thrown off the floor, it was already too late. So I pullled myself up and instantly looked back if the person was still looking, pretty much, the blinds had already been shut down.
Thing is, my small window where I blog is partially naked for the sun to penetrate brightly through the tiny bamboo bead curtains so then it appears people can actually see me from other buildings. What if they have satellite cameras? Well I don’t think this is the right way to start if one day I’m indulging myself inappropriately with someone online, then that would really be so embarrassing. I wouldn’t mind tho, depends on who’s really watching, I’d be very generous.
Moving on.
When I am alone, sometimes I feel I am surrounded with all these life’s drama. I suddenly find solace in my quiet moments, playing soft music, unplugged my phones and my time is my own to ponder things bigger than I could imagine. My life is pretty much nostalgic. I go to work, sit at a computer and deal with emails and with my boss. Then I come home, eat some dinner, watch a little television, read blogs, what-have-you, nothing’s happened very exciting.
My thoughts began in synced with the tick of the clock. I asked again, Is someone watching me? It ponders me sometimes that when I’m up to this level of feeling somewhat dreadful, I think of the times that someone is really watching me. If not the peeper out there, then who could it be? The ONLY person I answer to when it’s all said and done is the guy Up There.
Is He the one watching me? If He is everywhere, I supposed that He can pretty much see what I am doing. He may not have a gadget to see me thru those windows but I feel that He could also be in my shirt, in the aroma of my coffee, yet I may never know. Some people say, probably. Well I try to believe they are true.
One evening, as I was standing to light over my stove to prepare for a coffee, I heard a soft movement behind me followed by a clear statement, “I’ve got my eyes on you” I froze. Right there in front of the stove, He was telling me He was watching me. For a moment there, I realized that His voice sounded like a voice I knew. It was my late Father. Suddenly, I missed him. It’s been weeks now that I hadn’t been to church due to my working shifts - I work during Sundays and that sucks me to the bones.
I think I need a time to reflect for myself. I remember the days when I was young, our parents would tell us before going to bed, “Did you make a sign of a cross? Did you say your prayer”? It reminds me that maybe I have forgotten Him for a while, that I had never really thought that He watches me all the time and didn’t take noticed.
So, I’m going to try to live my life with the thought that ’someone really is watching me’. When He watches me I want Him to see joy and kindness and enthusiasm and a spirit willing to help others. I want to be a good friend, a loving son and a brother. When He glances my way, I want Him to put a check-mark under the “Reflection” category on my posts.
And so glad that I did remember writing this.
Album: Back To Black | Song: You Know I’m No Good
Artist: Amy Winehouse - Her debut album, Frank was nominated for the Mercury Music Prize. In 2006, she released her second album, Back To Black. She won a Brit award for Best British Female Solo Artist.Read More.
most of the time, when we are conscious that we are being watched, we often lose ourselves and think of what that ‘peeper’, whoever he may be, thinks of us.
sometimes, it’s better to convince ourselves that nobody’s watching. (with the exception of course of the intangible Being up there) =)
hehehe, sinadya mo ata yon para mahiling ka kaso kataning mo. ano ang nahiling kaya, bulalakaw na dakula? ha ha ha. hana, kung igwa ning hilingon, di paunrahan, bakong iyo? lalo na kung gapula pula na gaitom itom…hahaha. just kidding K. you are so funny. ano daw comment oya ni prof gerry.
Hi dam-dam, it’s true, we can never escaped in hiding from the guy UP there and I do believe that people are watching me (or reading) here. Sometimes I see some many that stops by and “peek in” on what I’m writing once in a while, but they don’t leave a comment (and I am not asking they should leave comments). Sometimes I wanted to ask these people a small favor to take just a moment and leave a brief comment with their name so I will know they were here. I easily get curious so I could thank them for visiting - just like you did.
Belle, dai ko tabi isi. Pan-o man na dai ka maheling eh ang mga kataraning na building magkadikit masyado so close that you can even throw a stone sa bintana. Kaso, I was just wondering ano daw ang naheling saco ta baco man dacula ang braso ko, baco man katakam takam ang muscles ko, hahaha pero inda na sana kung magtuwad tuwad ako budang ipaheling ko ang “kuton” kan sacong lubot, tibaad mag apod nin pulis at e-aresto na lang ako nin indecency. Herak ko man.
i must’ve watched too much suspense movies which made me think this post was of the same context :p anyways, i was looking for a tagboard to leave you a message but decided to post it here instead.
thanks for visiting my blog. hope you’ll have a great week ahead of you
hey! i think that’s freaky, somebody watching your every move around the house! sabihin mo next time may bayad na. he he!
Hi Kitts, hahaha maybe this or that, could be the same. Isn’t it funny how we think that the feeling of knowing when someone is watching us while changing our clothes, dancing naked or sleeping, our senses becomes sharpened? Now, it reminds me of the movie DISTURBIA, something to look forward to this week at the theatre. Thanks for visiting as well.
Masel, ikaw talaga kung ano ano ang nasa isip mo pero mas exciting ata yung di mo nalalaman na may nakatingin pala. Baka yung tao na yun na arouse sa half-naked body ko? Bwahahaha, I wanna know how he thinks of my tiny biceps o baka naman you think the other way around, that the person thinks ako yung naninilip? Aba, ibang usapan na yan, (sabay, sara ng bintana). Ano kaya ang masasabi ni Soy dito?
you better start practicing your “poses” na, K.
… or your “dance moves”.
I should move next door to you and get myself some binoculars. No fun here coz my neighbor’s too fat.
Why not give the big man something to watch? Hahaha~ Just a suggestion.
Marni, hahahaha binoculars thank you for telling me that, been thinking, ano kaya if I get one like that myself? I think that’s dirty pero teka mas curious ata ako kung ano ang nasa walls ng room mo? Aha, baka si Brad Pitt?
Kofi, isa ka pa, hahaha wala nga akong ipapakita. Baka na turned off nga dahil binaba yung window-shields. What is most scary is when peepers gains access to your most private spaces, such as your bedroom or the bathroom at home! I wouldn’t mind tho but nowadays technology makes it easier to invade privacy like the use of mobile phones equipped with imaging devices are now prohibited in most public places like gym, spas and office loo. Since we do not know how and when a stalker attacks, you never know, if one day nasa YOUTUBE ka na pala.
Hi K, I think either in real life or Internet blog, someone is always watching you, just like right now, I’m reading the side of you that you want us to see. Just because they are, doesn’t mean that it’s judgmental or anything like that, and I think you dad is very proud of you, you know how I feel about this kind of stuff. As for that man, if your window is tiny, he might not see everything, lol, but I guess having shade put up might not be a bad idea, it’s a good thing that he didn’t have a binocular
or something like that.
Trust me Ginger, most common people judge others based on their looks. And if they find out that you are good-looking, either way, you’ll be popular.
But in most cases not everyone are popular because of looks. Well If we only have to think about why some people we know are popular, it may be that they are always cheerful. Or maybe they always know how to avoid offending people. Maybe they just make people feel good when they are around. These qualities can almost guarantee someone that they too, if have these can be popular. See, if you want to be popular, then be happy, honest, positive, and try to make people feel happy when they are around you.
I have to agree though. I try to keep my bedroom windows closed at all times. The drapes are always down whenever I’m inside. My mom though has a habit of pulling the drapes to the side to “air out” my room. That always gets to me. Sometimes I just get off of bed ready to change clothes only to see the windows wide open. And cam phones? My boss kept a picture of my colleague whom he has a crush on. He showed it to her and she was freaked out cos she can’t remember when and how it was taken. secretly I assume. Tsk, tsk, we should all be careful. Maybe I’d find you in Quiapo one of these days? Or maybe YOU’d find ME there. Hahaha~
Hi K, I know that people judge you on your look, education, and profession, and that’s why I didn’t provide any of that on my profile, but obviously it wasn’t important to some of my readers. I think many of my readers don’t care what I look like, but those that do; they might not be around anymore, which is fine by me, they might have gone to myspace.com by now, people flaunt themselves over there, the more ‘so call friends’ that they have, the popular they are. One good thing about not providing so much personal information is that it’s hard for people to judge me as a person, I have the freedom to write about silly stuff, serious stuff, scary stuff, or about anything, life should be about choices, and freedom.
I do have to admit when I read someone’s blog, I don’t care what they look like, their profession or education level, but if it’s fun and upbeat, then I would go back and often leave comments, such as your blog. Life is hard enough as is, you don’t want to read stuff that is so dramatic and negative all the time, some would write as if the world revolves around ‘me, myself, and I’, this type of blog I don’t normally go back and read, it’s too depressing, wouldn’t you agree.
knowing that He is watching over us all the time brings both assurance and dread. i am naked to the bones to the Guy up there. He knows everything that even I am not aware of myself. I can’t help but feel guilt at times, but I know that even that guilt is a result of I not knowing the real me.
aw! thanks for making me the blogger of the minute…
Kofi said: “Maybe I’d find you in Quiapo one of these days? Or maybe YOU’d find ME there.” Hahaha of all places why Quiapo? Speaking of Quiapo, I confess we went to watch this adult pinoy movies somewhere in Ongpin ata and knowing that we were pramdaprabins, those cheap movie houses was meant for pick-ups and quicky sex pala. And also because Manila is so big and kalat ang mga sasakyans, nawawala lagi ako. So Quiapo to me is a nightmare and at the same time, dun madaling hanapin ang bus or jeepney para makauwi ng apartment.
Ginger, well to each his own. But I can only speak for myself, and one of the things that frustrates me about many blogs is that they lack much in the way of information about the author. You can put anything there that best describes you so I think there are a number of advantages of the “About Me” in your blog. I know some bloggers prefer to write in a more anonymity of style, but I’m a heart guy. I like people. I like a bit of personality and emotion. It can really help create a more personal connection with your readers. Sure not everyone is like me but I suspect if you put something in your “About Page”, plenty of your readers will appreciate a little more information on the person they’re reading.
As for your blog, I know you prefer privacy there. It’s common sense really but its worth saying. Some of us have boundaries around privacy and I respect that. If your blog is an Anony and I find it worth reading, I’ll stick to them.
Ron, knowing that it’s your bday pala, tamang tama - you deserved that blogger of the minute. I think that He up there really watches us. He probably uses the same surveillance system that Santa Claus uses. If I am being nasty, and because he is the MAN OF ALL KNOWINGS, I’m sure he knew that I was faking having sex with someone online. hahaha.
Hi K! As I was reading your post, I was reminded of a time, back in the past, when I used to watch a neighbor rehearse with his band, jam on his guitar, play around with his dogs, etc. I had to climb the roof of our garage to peep - it was not him, it was the music that they played which was the attraction for me. I thought I was well concealed until one day, he suddenly stopped playing his guitar, looked up to where I was hiding and waved. Boy, was I shocked! But after that, we became friends and that gave me the privilege of requesting for songs I liked to listen to.
As for someone watching over us, I guess that’s true. I sometimes feel Someone is watching over me … and whenever I feel it, I say a prayer or two.
Yes K, I’m watching you! so better be nice!lol
Aha! Now, I know that you’re only faking your ahh & ohh online hahaha
I thought, guys as clumsy as they are (ahem,wag mo akong batukan!lol) does not really care much if someone is watching them (half or full,naked or not,lol) I know the feelings of nasilipan,feeling nababastos ba.It’s overwhelming eerie kind of feelings lalo na kung hindi mo kilala ang sumisilip.If we know the peeper,that’s another story! Di bale kung cute okey lang hahaha
wow that was something indeed. I thought it was some kind of ghost story. I actually had chills before the last two paragraphs… hindi pala, reflection nga sya hehe. you caught me there.
I sometimes do crazy things whenever I’m alone. but I forgot that there is really someone who looking at us: Omnipotent, Omniscient and Omnipresent.
Thanks for reminding me K.
PS.
thanks for the awesome comment back there on my blog. I really appreciate it very much.. hindi na lang ako masyado ngreply ng tigigisa sa lahat ng comments dun to lessen the tension building up.. lalo na ngayon hahaha.
Bugsee, so parang na starstruck ka along the way. If it’d be me, you’ll probably make me blushed. I think I’m lack of spiritual guidance these days nasanay kasi ako to visit the church every Sunday evennif I don’t really really “pray” pero I find peace when I’m sitting silently inside a church, magaan yung pakiramdam ko.
Cheh, not necessarily everyone naman, I’m shy to show my meat hahaha but I would if someone dare to ask, why not? Asa ka pa.
Blue, I hope one day I’d be able to talk to a ghost. Well I believe on the “third eye” thingie, and I think I had these sudden premonition of such event, it’s scary to think that there is ghost inside my flat. I hope I can talk to them and know what they want. *goosebumps*.
Been a while since I was here. Then again, I don’t know why, every time I come here, my comp hang up on me. I think i’m lucky today.
Leaving my footprints here… have a great week ahead K.
Rinas man kang ritrato, baging su pelikula kaito ni Maria Isabel Lopez buda ni Myra Manibog na “Silip”, hehe.
Baging sober and sonorous ang theme mo ngonian ah, baging napa pormal pati ako. hehe.
Sensya na ta gapalla ballaw-basaw ako dindi sa solar mo.
When I was working in NYC, we used to do that all the time, thinking back now, it’s awful. Our building was at 12th Ave, Aka West Side Hwy in Manhattan, and over looking the East River. We had several old piers across from our building, I’m not sure if it’s still there, and there were many people that would go and do all kinds of stuff there, and sometimes just sun bathing (nude), I’m not sure what they were thinking because 12th Ave is a very busy Hwy, and people can see while driving by.
I was a student and only worked part-time, and my 2 male bosses, had several binoculars that they kept in the office, I figure they had been doing this for quiet sometimes, our office was on the 3rd floor, and if you ever look up, you’d find a whole bunch of us standing with the binoculars, and we’d see as far as the (former) world trade center, strange things that people would do for entertainment.
scary!!! dont want that happening to me!
to be honest, i dont like that idea of hearing voices … even if it’s a loved one who passed away, i still find it creepy! takot ako eh!
Asha, sorry for the inconvenience. It appears to me that you have browser issues, clear your cache or perhaps stop using IE? Maybe that will help. What exactly is the problem of the crash? I suggest that you stop staring at my pics on my About Page, hahaha. Good to see one of my loyalist reader here once in a while. We missed you already.
Gerry, baging eu ngani baga. Tibaad na homesick man sana ako, igwa bagang oras na minsan dai mo ma-explain kung ngata. Asin magtaram ka lamang….. (fill in the blanks).
Ginger, and maybe you know what happened to Winona Ryder, she was caught stealing clothes and left the shop without knowing someone was watching her thru a surveillance. Rumors has it that she was suffering from that urge of stealing something. Technology is so amazing that it can make things easier and better. However, I heard this joke, this maybe true, about a man who ordered Pizza on the phone. He was asked for his ID, credit card number, address, and his age etc etc. Even before he was asked what to order, the staff already knew what he wants and since he was suffering from diabetes, they refused to give him the Pepsi. See the man was shocked by this. They know everything about all his whereabouts. Then after they settled everything out, the Pizza staff declined to take his credit card because there was nothing left in it so he was advised that he should pay by cash and order the Pizza in the counter.
Grace, if you look into your room, open your wardrobe there in your left, you’ll see a small figurine. Of course it’s not yours. I believe someone left it there before. And for some strange reason, the previous renter of your flat has actually died inside those wardrobes. She’s seemed to be really sad and still roaming in your flat at midnight. If you hear a creaking sound near the kitchen, she’s probably getting something from your fridge. RUN and look for THOMAS now…. LOL.
sometimes talaga we’re better behaved when we know that somebody is watching us. pero i also believe that, in order to enjoy life, you just have to dance like nobody’s watching.
the more uninhibited we are, the more true we are to ourselves. agree?
you know what, k. solitude keeps us in tune with our inner self. it’s real impt to do some sort of self reflection from time to time. thanks for sharing =)