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Being nice is not nice at all
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Originally uploaded by: kateyay
Have you ever thought that nice people are more successful?
I think being nice to people when you’re not suppose to is just simply overrated. But you know, I always try to be nice to people, they say I’m approachable, sound pathetic that may seem but there are times that being so nice sometimes makes you look horrible.
To be labeled “nice” usually means the other person has little else positive to say about you. Nice is not being naive. Nice doesn’t mean being a Saint. I say please and thank you and smile at random strangers for no apparent reason. When you say something nice to someone and they look as if they really appreciate it, even if it is to someone you don’t know - I think that’s being honest. As we know when people have said nice things to you, somehow it has made you feel wonderful and just made that day sing.
But to be honest with you, being nice all the time is a real boring. Every once in a while, it’s fun to take it off of your shoulder. Again, I admit that this particular attitude does not make me look stupid than the people I’ve been having problem with.
The other day at work I was having my short training and found two of my staff not listening to what I was explaining. Quite frankly these kind of people needs a little bit of “whacking in the face” to make them realize that everyone works as a team. Problem is, this person has no common sense at all, it’s not like I actually care but I know my own soul and I’m not worried if they get mad or something. I’m probably just being silly by saying things to make them feel that, but I personally think that being nice doesn’t mean end of the day, you’re the one sacrificing of doing someone else’s job just because you are being nice (and helpful) by doing them a favor. I guess I’m just “too kind” enough, I seldom brought it up and never complaint.
I don’t want to go on with the details but thinking about it today, I realized that these are the people who only care so little about personal growth that they won’t spend the extra energy debating on something to get themselves noticed. I’ve been thinking a lot about quitting my job because I think I am not getting any opportunities to learn and grow, the challenge and all the things that I’m skilled for. Does the job right for me? It’s been long years and I’m feeling to get bored of it. No - seriously.
Sometimes I don’t connect with anyone even if this means putting myself in their shoes all the time. I am not judging them but how does it affects you being a nice person really, though, it’s true that anyone who is being their best self — kind, considerate, expressive, interested in others — will do fine in office but why is that I feel there’s something missing? It’s like I’m stucked in the end of the road.
Perhaps, we only need to learn to play the game of work in an honest, authentic manner and be nice with everyone. Hayyy!
Featured Song: Love Yourself by: Blue Six
[audio http://www.musicwebtown.com/knoizki/playlists/17530/299884.mp3]
Love Yourself
by: Blue Six
Well at least I am both naughty and nice. It is also due to my tackless and vulgar nature passed down by my mother
Hi K,
When you feel like you are being stucked in the end of the road, in German you are in the “Sackgasse”. Then it’s about time to go somewherelse. Re being nice…hehehe you don’t have to do that if they don’t deserve it. Show them you vampire teeth instead
Charles, in my line of work and working with “other people” is different than being frank and funny with the person you know personally. I work in a weird group of people and I still keep my cool even if I’m already mad, considered myself a very ‘reserved person’.
Ate Beng, I’ve said that gazillion times, going somewhere is easy to say than done. I’m stucked here because I have a huge obligation to my family - talking about being nice, you see.
Naintindihan kita and I experienced the same thing before… what family obligation concerns. I hope our loveones knows how to appreciate our efforts and see our sacrifices. We are being selfless just for their sake…
Ate Beng, I guess I was ranting this for my family. It’s so difficult when you try to tell it to them — but I’m happy with what I’m doing, everyone around me is happy and I’ve stopped feeling guilty for pursuing what makes me happy. If it makes me happy, I do it - (but for how long?) In fact, I read an article today that says happiness is actually a moral obligation.
It hurts to have to be nice all the time….
hang in there, k. *hugs*
Hey Marni, that’s true, there are downside for being nice. Like feeling unappreciated, even exploited. You overworked to please someone else.
The way I define nice, I have manners and will say hi to strangers if they look at me expecting a “hello” or something. But then we have that nasty side where we just want to bitch about people or do something evil. I can’t remember the last time I did, but my friend and I are planning something. Our modern history teacher is totally useless and his room got a projector installed recently, so we’re thinking of doing something to it, but we’re not quite sure. There’s this little machine that’s connected to his laptop and so far we’ve found out that that controls the volume. So we were thinking of turning the volume knob all the way up so when he turns it on next, he will get a big surprise. And we’ll keep doing it and doing it.
He probably won’t find out.
It’s difficult to please everyone all the time.
btw, sorry ’bout the feed-flooding. I was categorizing each of my entry and adding some code for post summaries. Only way to do it on the new blogger was to edit each entry. brace yourself for another rush of entries. Hope to finish it throughout the night. So so sorry, K.
Weng, hahaha you guys are so evil. When I was in my HS, we did those kind of silly things to our fellow classmates and even myself had been victimized many times, it was for fun but sometimes when you get into trouble as you grow older and thinking it back, you kinda laugh. It was part of growing up I guess, believe me those who are badass guys were the ones who actually made their way on top of the class. Ironic isn’t it?
Marni, oh I didn’t realize blogger can now create tags and categories on each of your post. But isn’t it a pain in the butt when you have to archives them accordingly? I hope you’re not getting a lot of spams from editing all of them. Shit happens but at least it’s now in BETA. Goodluck on your “burning the midnight candles”.
I’ve found that being nice doesn’t really help much and everyone takes advantage of that.
I totally agree k with your entry. what’s important is being true to what you feel without going over board or stepping on other’s dignity. my kindness is always abused by some people. and when I “slap them on the face to smell the reality”, they often get shocked because the gentle giant turns into a raging beast. sabi nila kasi masama daw magalit ang mababait. Kaya most people who abuse my kindness are those who see me as Mr. Nice Guy and not “bluepanjeet” the regular guy.
just to share a note which I learned from my mentor in the seminary: ‘humility is not about compliments which you turn down and deny in comparison in what people see in you, but true humility is when you acknowledge the truth”.
plainly, when you are brilliant and someone compliments you that you are, saying thank you and acknowledging that you are a such is more acceptable than saying “no hindi naman”, “sobra ka naman”, “no im not, im just an average guy”.
“Mr. Nice guy” can be good sometimes because it always bring out a smile from people, but it would be a curse if you always turn on the mode. a balance between nasty and nice gives you a different shade of gray. it makes you human. Even saints had their fair share of anger and notoriety.
Love your entry… and yes, your latest Ipod!
keep well and God Bless!
i think being nice doesn’t help to make a person successful. kasi if you’re nice (or sometimes, too nice) there’s a tendency to just let other people pass you on the ladder to success (in short, naaapakan). by profile, successful people are assertive, fearless, and tactical. if they need to be nice, they will play nice because they have to and not because they want to.