Are you being judgemental or just plain discriminating?
Originally uploaded by: fernando_graphicos
Say if you happened to be in a same place in a big crowd of people wearing a nice dress, good looking or just filthy rich, do you think they would look down upon and judged you because you are not one of them, or the clothes you might be wearing are not decent?
I walked around downtown Central today wearing my cargo short, a plain Replay t-shirt and a walking chinelas to send a small remittance to my family back home but before settling in, I passed thru this bridge connected to the building of Giorgio Armani Shop and I saw a big sign that say “SALE”. When it comes to sales in a branded shop, I can’t resist the fact that I got curious to see what’s on sale even if I’m not buying anything.
As I politely entered, with my heads up high, I assumed being a costumer, the sales staff would come to me and offer their gracious service. The sales lady said hello but she was sort of making a worried face - probably thinking and asking herself, “can he afford buying something in this expensive shop?” Of course I’ve already figured it out that it was my clothes which makes her think that. And so what? If you can afford to buy the stupid thing, why dress up to a shop just because it’s an Armani or a Versace?. I’m sure Donatella or Giorgio wouldn’t be complaining on me, would they?
I checked on the jeans, it was on a 50% discount sale. I have my money to buy these pair of jeans but because of her poor judgement, I thought maybe it’s better to just look around. Besides, I would not want another jeans but because it’s on sale and it is already my pay-day, might as well buy one, right?
So then I asked the sales lady if in case I buy, could they make an alteration of the lenght of the jeans without cutting the original line of the edge? Since I knew they can do it, I’d always asked. She strongly answered saying “there’s an extra charge of $100″. Of course there’s a charge, I know that. But the point is, she doesn’t seemed to be enthusiastic to helping me convince to buy the jeans. Wouldn’t she be asking me first if I wanted to try them on and see how it fits? Wouldn’t she suppose to ask me if I can try other styles to see if I may like it?
Then I started to collect a few more pieces by slowly opening the nice folded jeans and peek-a-boo on its tag price using my brain an instant calculator. She would hold the damn jeans as if not allowing me to see by folding it back in the same place. As I turned my back away to see the rest of the sales items, I saw few gentlemen in suits coming towards the suit sections, she hurridly went to them smiling and asked if she can be of any help. She showed them around the ‘‘New Arrivals’ and would let them see her over-friendliness because the person was wearing a nice suit. Bitch!
I do strongly hate their fake over-friendliness to customers just for the heck of wanting them to leave their store with a paper bag. While I was left alone wandering into pavement, she stared back at me and didn’t approached me anymore. I felt like a complete asshole as I walked down the acrylic stairs to find my exit. I am mighty pissed when I am judged really. If I had my arms wrapped around their throat, would they be as judgemental as they possibly could?
On the same event, it can also happen in the blogosphere. What would you do if you find out that someone in your blogroll removed your link in their blogs? We have the power to do that anytime we want, unless the link has disappeared, no updates for several years or just because the person doesn’t like you anymore? It’s their choice but do you jumped into the conclusion that maybe the person judged the way you write or because you don’t look good in the pictures or you seldom leave comments in their respective blogs? What makes them changed their mind after a few times they visited your site and act their friendliness?
Not to mention that people online are here for so many different reasons, we want to escape, to relax, to interact with other people and have fun. And we all know that I’m sure more than once in our lives that not everyone online behaves the same in real life. Well just my thoughts, I would rather be judged, than be fooled by a two faced person. Next time if you want to add me or remove me, kindly let me know.
Are you making judgements or being judgemental? Do the test, see what it says and be the judge.
Take It Off (Dim The Lights)
by: Pharrell
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By The way, next time some sales lady does that to you, make it known to her that she lost a good sale because she was rude. Maybe that will spare the next guy of hard and negative feelings.
I found this blog looking for helpful advise on how to stop being judgmental. See, in church tonight, they were talking about unity among christians and how being judgmental devides christians, and all I could think of is my strong convictions that are based on the Bible and how I persented them to other christians hoping they would see the light and straighten up their own lives the way I straightened up mine. Well, they began to judge me and call me legalistic, and instead of having a loving response like Jesus would have had, I began to judge them right back and think how couild they call themselves christians and know the truth and not live it? Then I see these other christians who swear and yell and go out and get wasted all the time. Theyre no different from anyone else so how can they call themselves christians? they’re giving christians a badf name cause they talk the talk but once they’re out the church door, they do the opposit. They preach at people but their life is no different from non christians, and I find myself being quite irritated with them, but what I neglect to think is maybe they’re baby christians and just haven’t grown at all yet and they need time to become sober and peaceful so what am I judging them for? But I keep doing it and I want to see them with compassionn, for that is true christian love, so i am praying to God to take this judgmental attitude away from me. It’s such an ugly thing. I am no better than anyone else. The only good in me is in and of God and not in and of myself, so how could I look down on others and think of them as phoney christians? I’m sure, after all, people thought of me that way one time too. I guess it’s all a matter of growth, and not just on their part but mine too.
Ahhh, can’t have one without the other. Unfortunately, despite our interventions, common sense goes out the window unless we really drill it into their heads
That goes for the young ones in W.A these days. What with all the primary and secondary schoolgoers having to learn these sorts of things over and over until hell freezes over.
Likely to say, “are you sure your relative is an Australian”?
I think it is also great to have a GOOD judgement. That goes more under the category of common sense, but you do have to make a decision and use your judgement.
Love the Mantra
I remembered when a relative of mine told me about her adventures in the Perth Gucci building and she said to me that the lady attending the counter acted quite snobby and disinterested, grrr! that lady deserves to have the label of ” mean counter wench”! which does affect future sales and the probability of customers coming into the store as well.
@ Range: I might not have had my Sapho juice, but my mind is already in motion
I tend to disagree Sir Neko. If it’s a poor costumer service, why would the sales girl left me and ‘entertained’ a couple of suited gentlemen than me in a short cargo pants?
Some judgements are good, others are bad. It all depends on the situation and where we stand on it. Whenever we meet someone new, we immediately form a first impression based on however little information we are given.
that’s not judgemental, man~ that’s just poor customer service.
Ahh that’s from a movie.
“….. the stains become a warning. It is by will alone I set my mind in motion”
No wonder the mentat cant get peace because their sins are too deep in their collective unconsciousness.
“It is by will alone I set my mind in motion
It is by the juice of Sapho that thoughts acquire speed, the lips acquire stains
The stains become a warning
It is by will alone I set my mind in motion”
Mentat Mantra from the Movie Dune
Very well explained JV, totally agree.
You know, when people once again begin to judge others only with true, concrete reason and true fairness, the world will be a better place.
Just take things easy, enjoy life out there, live life the fullest as what we normally says, things can better to those who speaks gently, who share the love, laughing often and reward yourself with something that makes you happy.
I’m the type of person who appreciates and prefers the old and proper way of saying “Thank you - welcome” notion. Yes, I do value how to act responsibly and say the proper and polite things. My friend who has visited America, have commented that when you say “Thank you”, some Americans would just reply, “yeah, sure!” or “yeah, right!”. I mean, it’s the manners/etiquette of how to say a proper “thank you” and a “welcome”. It’s just like respecting that individual. It also applies in blogs, not only that, it applies in every aspect of our lives.:!:
Regarding discrimination/being judgmental (ooohhh… discussing this topic would be quite a pain in the butt), people, generally, just can’t stop formulating judgments about this or that person. They all tend to embrace stereotyping, instead of transcending that boundary.:roll: I just hate those people who are stereotypes, I wish they didn’t exist in this world. For such a person to exist, is to make this world indifferent. I just wish people would change about how they would think about other people. Just don’t judge a person by his/her physical appearance, or his/her fame, his/her status, etc. Better yet, you must get to know him/her before placing a judgment. Discrimination about sex and gender, race, status etc. are just a no-no for me. An example of which is gay/lesbian orientation, I don’t mind if someone is gay or lesbian, they also have the right to be happy don’t they? So why would we discriminate them? Of course, there’s the issue of religion coming in. People just don’t want to break out of their shells and would rather adhere to the status quo and be dictated by the society’s norms. Another is race, Americans (though not all of them) discriminate African-american people. Even though they’re “black”, it doesn’t mean that they’re inferior. They’re a part of the world, tao rin naman sila.:cry:
Even my closest friends tend to judge me by my actions. They connote things, i.e. using metaphors, which are not pleasant, offensive, and sometimes hurtful. Example: I texted my friend to buy me a pirated copy of Brokeback Mountain to be added in my pirated dvds collections. Since then, they would tease me that I have a crush on Jake Gyllenhaal or Heath Ledger. Another situation is since it will only be a year before I reach the age of 21 (adulthood), they would tell me how to celebrate my birthday, since being 21 is like a “debut” to adulthood for men. They would tell me to wear a tiara, a pink gown, and diamond shoes. And I just laugh it out, even though it’s already offending, and I hate it. Since they are my friends, I don’t want them to be hurt also by giving a comment on them. Yeah, I admit that I’m effeminate in certain ways, but that doesn’t mean that I’m gay. I prefer women, not men, for crying out loud!!! Using metaphors or connotations just irritates me more.:mad:
Hehehe Menta, did you just made it up yourself? Very insightful or rather confusing.
I will be looking for the Sappho juice.
Okay, in the Dune universe there are these people called Mentats, they are basically like human calculators and are considered by many to be the embodiment of logic and reason. Sappho juice is a drink/drug that doubles and triples a Mentat’s processing power and renders the Mentat’s lips a shade of red and can lead to addiction
No Ment, you’ll be fine here. This is the first time like it sounded a bit of an “arguments”. I tend to balance what is right or what is good but don’t tell me that I was accussing someone in flames about me no longer on their links. I was asking only an opinion. But it turned out….
I’ve delinked people. I found myself not reading their blogs, and I decided that they weren’t my thing. So I removed them.
You know those kind of attitude. I mean why LINK me up and de-link me later? Why not just be a silent-reader, don’t participate in everything? Silence is golden. If you can’t say, just keep quiet, or something like that. But everytime I see someone de-linked me, I would question myself, “WHAT DID I DO”? I suppose I just let it go.
But what exactly is a Sappho Juice?
Thank goodness I didn’t get flamed for the comment I put up
*whew!* Thanks to Range, I’ve found a lot of blogs worth going to 
and about the whole “I’ll link you if you link me” thing, why not? Going off about Gucci in Perth made me feel a lot better 
This blog is one of the many others I’ve visited worthy of having the label “Sappho juice for the starving Aussie Mentat mind” 
Too bad Sweet Immolation disappeared 
(in case everyone doesn’t know about it by now)
I think I’ve watched this show in 20/20, they did some survey on “how to approach a household for a donation” to see who’s very generous and who’s not.
They hired two ladies, one is a blonde and the other is hispanic or something dark colored hair. There were hidden cameras attached to each girls and they started the project, they caught few of these people all in favor with the BLONDE girl with the highest money being collected.
In ads, you may see that all beautiful people are hired to pose for the product. Would you buy a boxer short with a big beer belly in a box? Har! har! har!
That is true. I never got that kind of treatment here. People really smile and greet me when I am out jogging or just walking around.
Well, since here also discrimination is actually considered a crime.
LMAO Mentatoh, what an icebreaker.
NO don’t burn the GUCCI shop down, I love their wallets there even the shoes, expensive I know but if you ever come to HK, there’s a lot more to burn down, not just the shops but those who creates these brands - they are everywhere and people are so slave into fashion around here.
Thanks for visiting, MENTA. Now let me know if you want to link me, just don’t forget when you want to de-link, aight? Just kidding.
Now this post is the reason why I want to go to Perth, grab a few friends and set the Gucci shop there (which is an eyesore) on fire in the middle of the night or at say, 2:00 am in the morning when it’s all nice and dark. First they redirect pedestrian traffic during the most inconvient times and then build something as ridiculous as a Gucci store in a place where people are more likely to go to the two major comic book and second-hand book suppliers. What is Perth coming to these days?
It’s absolutely everywhere and it’s happening anywhere, J. Discrimination is always against a trait that can’t be changed like age, race, nationality, sex, religion, gender, etc. This is what I regard as the lowest depth of misery. Sadly, there are people who suffer from all these until we find a way to fix these problems, there will always be unrest in the society and in our world.
yeah .. i know all to well about that nasty little thing called discrimination. i see it almost every time i go into certain stores. i totally understand your frustration with it; but, unfortunately, i’m just used to it now.
“….while I was left alone wandering into pavement, she stared back at me and didn’t approached me anymore. I felt like a complete asshole as I walked down the acrylic stairs to find my exit.”
I would also feel like that in a blog for thinking out loud.
K, sure you are right.
Asha as well.
People are free to do as they please on their own blogs. Ans write whatever they want and say whatever they want.
Etiquette, well people should be their own judges about that. There is no blogosphere standard and I agree that it is all about respect. I respect what people say and how they feel, and I hope that they do the same for me. That’s all that I can expect.
Oh sorry it make you feel sad, Asha. But don’t forget that is a blog, people have used many services such as “technorati”, “who-links to me”, rss feeds etc. But why do we need this exactly? To track down who are reading and linking to us?
All blogs out there has tracking system but isn’t nice to give them a little favor to thank them at least for linking their sites to yours? I mean I wouldn’t ask Pandora Player that I have their links to my blog but bloggers are not robot, it’s like going to my house without knocking just crashing into the couch.
This type of judging is a big problem in our society because it promotes ignorance, which in turn promotes racism. Just my 2 cents.
Cheers, Asha, the world still is a beautiful place to live.
Well, I don’t expect anyone to link me up but then again, say if I come across a good one, I’ll do the link without even asking… I couldn’t care less what the blogger himself thinks, less he doesn’t want me to. That’s something I respect. And that’s just me. Believe me, many have linked to me… but I did not, cos I don’t find em way interesting. Tsk…
K, I don’t see the need to please everyone. I USED to feel the way you do, but not anymore. No one gives a shit, so why bother in the first place? It’s a fucked up world after all.
Kerryn’s right, we are free to do whatever with our blog.
Hey range we don’t want to cause a stir over this so called “etiquettes”. But I truly believe that etiquette should be practice, like for example if you took my picture out of this blog and put it on yours and not quoted me for that, that’s stealing/disrespectful.
What I want is being respectful, tons of fun, and they enrich my blogging and game time more than I can tell them, and I learn a great deal from them. And hey, coComment is doing that for us too, why bothered to use the service if you don’t want to be noticed and spread the love in your blog?
I started to realize, that when I go to someone’s site - I hardly EVER looked at who THEY linked to. THAT wasn’t important to me in what made a good blog, but if we are exchanging words here, I would then add you up. Some people would not want to join into a political-link game but it’s something that we probably missed.
But oh, our blog roll does say a lot about us in a way for individuals with whom anyone can have a genuinely social relationship with. It’s like going to a bar without feeling embarrassed about joining uninvited for a drink if you happened to bump into them at a bar.
fuck etiquette.
Wow, looks like I touched a nerve there. I just say it how it is. That’s all. I’m in no popularity contest here, sorry guys. No need to get all upset.
And even if there aren’t any “rules” per se, there is something called blog etiquette.
WOW Charles, can I live there. It’s funny when you’re a colored-brown skin unlike the others, people in that group would give you the kind of treatment. Honestly, if you are in a train here travelling to and fro into a crowds, no one ever smile. If you find out that someone is smiling back at you, then she/he must be a Filipino.
True, judging based on our looks can be very deceitful. It isn’t what goes on your body, but what goes in your mind.
That’s great here in Norway since even how you look like especially when you are going into a store they always give you a nice hearty welcome and even help you out with what you want to buy.
I don’t usually judge people on the way they look coz you never know what lies beneath.
Hi Kerryn, true. Thanks for the input.
Get this - I don’t want to be the most popular kid in school. I just want the freedom to write and do what I like with my blog without having to answer to anyone else.
If I have a personal blog and I don’t need to linked to anyone, I would shut off my blogroll links. I would close all my comment box if I don’t need people’s opinion or be a part of a community called blog? I have seen a lot of blogs who put “private” post because they don’t want other to read their posts. What’s the use right?
What I’m saying is, I didn’t ask for anyone to link me. I truly don’t know who links to me and who doesn’t. I was suprised to see that you have me in you’re blog roll, Kerryn.
Maybe delinking came when I said something or another that didn’t sit right politically.
The conversation hasn’t escaped me either - you see, I might have removed you from my blogroll (my blog, my decision) but I still read. Or did you not consider that?
Mick - you’re wrong. There is someone else seeing the absolute silliness of this shit.
My opinion - the blogosphere is not a playground where we’re taking part in a popularity contest but that seems to be the direction it’s heading. Get this - I don’t want to be the most popular kid in school. I just want the freedom to write and do what I like with my blog without having to answer to anyone else. Just like you’re free to do whatever you like with your blog.
If you have a problem with anything I write or do on my blog, you’re welcome to leave a comment there…
Call me strange but I’d rather not be stumbling across these sort of judgements on my actions elsewhere…
Hi Mick, oh you sound so upset there. But I didn’t accussed anyone at all - I was asking an opinion on what to do with the de-linking part. I believe it’s my blog, I owned it, and I can do anything with my links. I am not here to cause trouble to anyone at all. If you need to be removed that’s fine.
What I’m saying is, I’m not a patient person, but it depends how much I like the site and if I’ve communicated with the author of the site then I will add them on their link. Some authors would not even bothered responding to each every comment like I did, but since I respect everyone else opinion, linking is something that I’ve always do. It’s not even about ranking, it’s not popularity - it’s about being friendly to each in everyone. A personal blog means we give each other the courtesy to reply or inform someone, or quote them on something because you’re part of my blog.
I am not flaming with explanation here. Thats life I guess. It initially caused me a little concern (I don’t like to cause conflict) but now it doesn’t really bother me. I’m more interested now in developing relationships with those that read my blog and resourcing others to get into the conversation we have. If in the process people delink or link - its their prerogative.
I wasn’t aware that an admin of a blog needed permission to remove someone’s link.
Being in the process of shutting down my own and linking only to the people I actually know, rather than do a reciprocal link to satisfy someone’s idea ego — jeeze — who made you guys boss anyway. Talk about judgmental.
The people who are currently on my blogroll (don’t think this conversation hasn’t escaped me) are people I communicate with outside of the “blogosphere”. Even then, they will eventually be gone. It is my blog and I don’t need anyone’s permission, nor do I need to extend any courtesy of informing them that I am closing down my blog, albeit in stages.
As far as “a taste of my own medicine”, range…. Thank god you did — you spared me the effort of requesting a removal.
Let’s try something else, everyone. I am NOT a part of any clique. If you want to remove me, please do me the favor of removing me, for you have been just a judging as you have accused someone like me of being. You can all go and play your little games with your little friends and seem important to each other. Fine. I am so sick of this soap opera, that I can just puke.
Question — how would you feel if I NEVER had put you as a blogroll member in the first place?
Right. Not that anyone will see the absolute silliness of all of this shit.
Hi SHA! Hahaha I am not “bitching” anyways, I was only sharing the experience, I’ve posted similar to these before.
Bennetton becomes unpopular in HK nowadays. This shop used to be so busy but even on sale, I hardly seen people harrassing that place. The quality are nice but the styles were not as nice as before. Well a friend went to Italy and they said, the bennetton there is much more “buyable”.
How’s yourself dahling?
the best service i ever received was bennetton london and i got the sexiest blouse ever…
anyhoo that bitch hahaha
just too busy darling i do think of you miss this kind of bitchiness
love from sardignia italia
Hi Renny, here’s the actual post for that “questionnaire”. It tells about judging or being judgemental.
Here’s the link.
May I link you now?
Hi K - very talkative today (not judging!) and I do agree. People should always ask before blogrolling and of course also when removing.
I tried to go to do the test, but the site did’t cam up? So then I don’t know:-)
Well range it was just my opinion, I’m just surprised. We all know that judging is part of human nature. So I’m not going to lose any sleep over the thought of someone judging or de-linking me for that matter. Delinking is such a hot subject really. I have never delinked someone because I was angry. I only delinked if the sites is no longer updated for a long time. It is a learning experience really.
I do understand however that there is no reason to have to ask before making a link to another site but in other words, linking to another site should say something about it which we open addressed as common courtesy. Like your site, you have many photos that you link from the flickr.
Hey K, I had the same problem that you had a few days ago. I noticed that some people had removed from their blogroll without advising me. I do check up on blogs to see if my link is still there. I just gave them the same medecine and took them down of mine.
It sucks, but humans are walking talking judging machines. It doesn’t take much for people to judge you online or offline. And when people judge, it is really hard for them to change their minds.
Perhaps there’s a cultural connections in there. Everyone is beautiful in their own way. Someone may dress up so neat and tidy and you may think they are smart but aren’t. If you ask me, if you judge someone on their looks that isn’t the way to go.
Also, it is a bit rude to judge someone on their looks. Don’t you think?
people, some people are like that! they can’t see past the way we look, the clothes we wear and often time, our ethnicity plays a part too. so sad! but then again…I don’t care! You treat me like…I give you the same exact treatment too, with a hint of bitchiness!
salespeople are the worst!
Duke, Harbour City has dramatically changed since the time you left. There are huge variety of shops around - it’s now like a sacred place for an ultimate shoppers. Seriously, I don’t see Nine West by the deck wings anymore, probably just nearby outside independently but wait, it couldn’t possibly dahil malapit yun sa Mark & Spencer as you take ride the escalator from Canton Road.
I’ll find that links soon - we are what we write.
I enjoy the service of the ladies in Nine West in Harbour City. The rest I don’t really care! lol as long as they treat me like a princess when I buy my shoes.
don’t worry about the judgement. It’s YOUR blog not theirs. You can do what you want.
lol.. what do you mean not sure yet???:p
I got her name, something about “Lychee” hahaha nah just kidding. I had a few encounters, even if I tried to dress up a little more “high-end” - in some shops, sales staff do these kind of treatment. I do enjoy the ladies at the Pacific Place really, they are more friendlier and nothing can beat Marathon Sports, they don’t sound robotic when you are greeted by genuinely accomodating staff.
Well I do feel like I am being judged on my own blog without having any of my own knowledge. I don’t know why. I would do the same but I’m tired of it.
The only ones that matter are the ones you care for. - You’re right, I’d rather have the one who holds my heart. It doesn’t matter what other people think about me. If they are judging me, then they are leaving someone esle alone for the time being. So I continue to do “my thing” and let them do theirs.
So far… wait let me check my blogroll, not sure yet.
K, I like this post. I understand how you feel.
Sadly, people tend to judge by physical appearance at times.
Boo to that sales lady.
So what if you were in your shorts and tsinelas? That doesn’t mean you can’t afford to buy their stuff. People like them make me really mad.
whoah! cowboy, who made you mad with adding/removing you from their link?
sus! let them be. they will always have their reasons. The only ones that matter are the ones you care for.
Being judged with your looks, with your weight or because you are Asian with a white guy? Fellow kababayans natin ginagawa yan parati. Dito madami din, other people just don’t see it that way and it’s happening in our surroundings all the time, everywhere with anyone.
Hahaha on your iPod. Then sign up on Last.fm so I can see what’s on your rotation. How’s the video? Where and how do you download your songs? Let me know.
actually tito k i’ve been judged many times … considering i married a white guy … and when you do walk around esp in Pinas they kinda look down on you lalo na if you’re dressed down … as in tsinelas and shirt …
still i really dont care … yes i feel the discrimination on the spot but i fight back and after that i just brush it off … life’s too short
tito k … i’m super loving my ipod now … did i mention that it’s mega-ORGASMIC! bwahahahahahhah!