Myself and the Street
Originally uploaded by: KnOizKi
As the weeks passed into different weather, I became more normal than before. I’d daydream walking down a big shopping mall spending few dozens of Armani shirt as I triumphantly stroll outside my first summer shades.
Yet, fives times a week, no matter how much I love walking ten minutes on my usual route on Queen’s Road, streams of cars and buses zoomed past me, wearing my rugged clothes, going to work, I would then march out with my head held high walking along few hundreds suited greedy looking men wearing an Armani suits, I felt jealous, but yet I didn’t care.
Eat. Work. Sleep. That’s all I can afford for now.
After work when I walked home at night, I’d stroll to the same route seeing an empty street, few cars resting on some blocks and homes where the only activity came from blaring television sets.
Suddenly, I stood in the corner of the street dumbstruck. When I turned away, I realized how quiet the neighbourhood was. As I looked at myself infront of the mirror from a small shop, it looks very quiet and all I could hear was my own breathing.
For some reason I felt sad. My only family in the entire world and I were living in a different places. And, for the first time, I found myself completely alone.
Strangers Again
by: Ari Hest
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Salamat, pero drama mo! It goes away after a couple of hours really. Sometimes I wonder if I’m mentally ill, because yesterday I was high as a kite! Maybe my diabetes is attacking me again.
I don’t make jokes, I don’t tease, I did make you cry I know that but really you kinda reminding me of someone back in my college, di ko lang maalala kasi makulit din yun.
think we all have that moments.the best theraphy perhaps is a break from all of these. reconnect with ur family and yeah SHOPPING! sometimes we just cant help it even if we try to psyche ourself up. i do feel the same at imes k, esp when my friends are leaving doha for good already. anyway, im just glad, how corny this may sound, i found blog friends like u and duke to cheer me up. I feel “home” again whenver you tease me and give me those horrible jokes from i dunno where. smile na k! here’s a BIG hug for you k! HMMMMMMP! miss yah! luv yah! mwah!
Hahaha Jack, you’re absolutely correct. I was probably jealous because suits doesn’t make me look good. But since I’m not a business person I thought having one piece of suit can make me smile, even if it’s not an Armani. I’ve been thinking about going to Shenzhen and have a tailor-made suit (roughly around HK$350) along with a shirt, but then again, I’ll spend another thousands for a pair of an Italian shoes. So maybe, not this time.
No point being jealous of some overdressed idiots who are probably steaming under those suits in the warm weather. Can you imagine how uncomfortable they must be?
Hehehe Gracie, I was really crazy with K-swiss shoes. Well, I thought Tretorn was the most famous shoes in our PE class, so I bought my white K-swiss and fell in love with it. It was really expensive (I guess still is) and I think it made me looked really cool so I decided to wear them like everyday. After a couple of months or so, everyone was now into Timberland. And personally I just dislike the whole timberland thing, I dunno, I just thought k-swiss was the most suitable shoes for anything but then again white sneakers gets really so baduy for me nowadays, I would pick on ‘chinelas’ from anything else. Believe me, kahit winter naka chinelas pa ako. You wanna know the secret? Bumabaho na ang paa ko sa sneakers.
I am the genius!!! I know why you feel alone!!!
You miss K-SWISS!!!
Don’t worry trinity, I’m a ‘happy cat’. I discovered that my happiness was in my tail. As I try over and over to get it, all I could do was to run around in circles until I feel exhausted and frustrated, but with this endless chase, I then eventually stopped. And then, I discovered that if I’d just go on about my life then it would follow me wherever I go.
I hear you K.Sometimes we need to be sad in order to redescover what makes us happy.Enjoy your sacred corner and don’t give sadness too much of your time.
You are writing beautiful and i always enjoy it.Keep it like that.
I beg your pardon? LOL - No, definately not a homesickness. I still have my brothers around and when I see them once again on my days off, I’ll be ok, but this sudden ‘aloneness’ has probably caused by the Jed Madela’s music. I must stop listening to these kind of music now or I will become more infinitely happier human being myself.
Well I guess I’m just balancing it between being alone and being human. You think about time to look for a partner? Aherrm.
cheer up K!
am I sensing a bit of homesickness here? Maybe it’s time for you to push through with that canceled Philippine holiday or better yet, adopt…..
another cat?
Thanks Trinity. I honestly do enjoy my “down time” apart from one another, whether it’s a solitary walk in the park, or going to some quiet beach to rest and reflect. And believe it or not I do create a sacred space in my flat (which is my desk) to remember who I truly am - by sharing my feelings and thoughts to this blog.
I am so sorry you feel alone.I know exactly how it feels.But don’t let it get to you too much.
Eventually,it will pass.You are not alone…that’s for sure.
That’s true range, I truly love and admire – those who share my understanding of what isolation can be, because maybe you have fought for the same understanding that I have. Thanks.
When you are alone, you can listen to yourself. When you are always with people, you can forget your own voice easily.
“sometimes, being and feeling alone can be a choice. ”
Vina, a very positive comments indeed. Like anything in life we can learn to be better at being alone without being lonely, so we have the choice whether to be with others or not.
Then - I choose to be with others like everyone else around here.
sometimes, being and feeling alone can be a choice.
and sometimes, being able to hear our own breathing, to hear our own selves, can actually be one of the best things that could happen to us.
Asha, kidding aside, maybe your addictions to my blog affects your normal routine (such as going out with your friends, cook for the kids). My entry has become very “dramatic” lately, din’t you notice? I advice you should take a long hiatus & take pictures of the beautiful mornings or the rain than being alone because of this post.
The family is here, my family is here, my relations are here, everyone’s here… yet I feel alone. Why?
Thanks Mick, it’s the reason why I come back blogging as it tends to make me very insecure at times when I’m alone. I feel that I must be around with people at all times.
Some of us are listening — you aren’t really alone.